


Don't Go in the Dog Park

by Tsuki_Amano



Series: 365 Stucky Shots [19]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M, Random - Freeform, bucky is a presenter, radio au, slight crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 19:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4757954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsuki_Amano/pseuds/Tsuki_Amano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new visitor to Night Vale always heralds excitement and this time is no different. Bucky, the radio show host, makes sure that all the citizens are kept up to date on the latest happenings of the town. And if he makes sure to score an interview with Steve at the same time? Well it's all professional necessity after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Go in the Dog Park

**Author's Note:**

> Listening to WTNV on repeat lead to this. It's not explicitly mentioned but Bucky is the narrator. Also if you've never heard a night vale pod cast this may seem confusing to you.

_The sky is an indulgent tone of lavender today and the grass barely utters a protest as we pass by, while glittering dust crosses over our homes as we sleep. Welcome listeners, to Night Vale._

Hello listeners, and welcome back. Before we continue with today’s scheduled program, the City Council has asked that I read out an announcement. It seems important as they’ve pinned the memo to my computer screen, and written the note with bright red ink.

Well at least I hope it’s ink.

The City Council asks all citizens to refrain from entering the dog park. The hooded figures are not to be approached under any circumstances and for your own personal safety, do not make eye contact with the figures. The City Council says that the monthly quota of incidents relating to the hooded figures has been met and any more such cases will be met with strong disciplinary action.

We tried to contact the Sheriff’s Secret Police to find out just what this meant, but we were met with **Disapproving Looks.**

Now I don’t know about you listeners, but personally, their **Disapproving Look** s are a good enough way to dissuade me from further questions.

So remember citizens, keep away from the hooded figures!

Back to our regularly scheduled program.

In recent news, listeners will be pleased to hear that the ban on writing implements has been lifted temporarily. It is now perfectly legal to use writing implements on select days of the week, provided of course that they are purchased from approved stores. The Council plans to release a list of these carefully approved outlets by the end of next month, or so they say.

Phil Coulson, one of the agents from that vague yet menacing government agency had an interview with reporters recently where he informed them that despite what they thought, they had heard no explosions over the past few weeks. Even if they thought they had, they were wrong. Any citizens or reporters who still felt that they were hearing explosions were asked to report to the local municipal corporation immediately for treatment.

A new stranger came into town today, as reported by old man Fury who lives at the edge of town. I’ve yet to meet him personally, but well. All of you know I’m rarely one to let my emotions run away from me while I’m on air. I’m a professional after all and besides that, station management wouldn’t be very happy with me. However today I’ll need to make an exception.

I ran into the stranger on the way to work today and let me tell you, he was perfect. From his beautiful hair that looked like it had been spun from sun beams to his lovely blue eyes, just a shade away from being outlawed, he was wonderful and perfect. He along with another man, who had a pack of what appeared to be arrows were heading to Agent Coulson’s house.

_Oh dear._

Listeners unfortunately Station Management has asked me to return to my regularly scheduled program. They seem to be quite unhappy with my deviation from the norm. I suppose we’ll return back to the news.

Dr. Banner, the scientist who works with Carlos, Cecil’s boyfriend, has informed me that, for whatever reason, the mosquitoes and flies of Night Vale have begun to whisper secrets into people’s ears. He isn’t entirely sure what’s causing this phenomenon, but the scientists believe the unusual composition of Night Vale’s atmosphere has something to do with it.

I don’t know about you listeners, but I’m preparing to stock up on bug-spray. I’d rather not have my secrets exposed by winged insects if it’s all the same.

Unfortunately, Carlos was unable to comment as he and Cecil have decided to take a vacation, Station Management finally let Cecil go on leave after filing all the necessary applications and paper work.

Well, I’m sure Dr. Banner will be able to get to the bottom of this new occurrence soon. He’s quite a sharp fellow himself, even has a stamp on his alert citizen card. Remember, five stamps and you get stop sign immunity for a year!

This just in listeners. The agents from that vague yet menacing government agency are holding an emergency press conference in the abandoned parking lot. It looks like Agent Coulson’s new guests are also planning to address the gathering.

It’d be highly unprofessional of me not to cover such an important and pressing piece of news. I’ll just slip out while Management is inside.

**_And now, a word from our sponsors._ **

Life. Love. Victory. Hate. Despair. Sunlight. Grass.

So many, many words. Meaningless platitudes and expressions that make our days so complicated. But what is the meaning of these words. Are they just letters strung together for convenience?

Or is there more to it?

Do they help in communication? What really is communication?

Don’t know the answer? That’s ok, neither do we.

That’s why there’s a book to help you.

_This announcement has been brought to you by Merriam Webster, a leader in dictionaries worldwide._

Welcome back listeners. I’m in the middle of the press conference as we speak and let me tell you, it’s an interesting conference. Agent Coulson began by addressing the gathering, where he announced, quite pleasantly that anyone caught using mobile phones or any prohibited recording device would be handed over to the Secret Police.

After that brief cautioning, he began the actual conference.

Listeners it seems as though off late, there has been an increase in the number of helicopters flying over Night Vale. Now normally, this wouldn’t be cause for concern as we are coming to close to elections. However, these particular helicopters have intricate murals of birds of prey painted on them, which is a cause for concern.

Agent Coulson has assured citizens that provided they take all the precautions dictated to them in Citizen’s Safety Handbook, which is mandatory to have a copy of by the way, they should be fine.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police has reminded citizens that in this distressing time, it will need to step up security measures and so it would be greatly appreciated if listeners would remember not to shut their curtains at night unless they are the permissible thickness. It’s only polite to allow the Secret Police easy listening after all.

Tony Stark, _ugh how I detest reporting anything he says_ , added that tin foil hats are pretty useless and please don’t wear them. He also added that it didn’t really matter if you wore black and snuck out of your house after curfew, his cameras would still capture your image. Now I hate to agree with anything the man says listeners, but I have to agree with him here. Please cooperate with your local authorities in this time of disturbance.

The perfect man, the one with hair like silk? His name is Steve Rogers. He briefly spoke to us as well. His voice is just as perfect as the rest of him. Steve explained that the removal of the barrier to Radon Canyon perhaps wasn’t the safest idea yet. The Council didn’t look too pleased with his statement, but Steve added that ever since we opened the Canyon, the annual mutation rate has risen by 250% times that of last year. I hate to say it, but he may have a point.

He spoke with an air of confidence and persistence and when he addressed us, I felt a strange tugging in my heart.

I fell in love and it was perfect.

I’m going to try and interview him, for professional reasons of course. **_While I do that, let’s go to the weather._**

While I didn’t get to the bottom of this new mutation mystery, I did manage to, if I say so myself, make a good first impression. Steve and I are planning to meet at Big Rico’s tomorrow for dinner. Remember to grab that mandatory weekly slice of wheat and wheat product free pizza from Big Rico’s soon listeners.

Because no one makes a slice like Big Rico’s.

And now for Community Calendar.

We’ve got a slew of Wonderful and only mildly Injurious events lined up for us this week.

On Monday, City Council wants to remind citizens that it is holding its annual census. Please remain calm at all times and do not act agitated near the census takers. City Council reminds its listeners that the takers can smell fear and they are not responsible for any disturbances caused by their agents.

Tuesday marks an unscheduled invasion from a neighbouring town, which will surprise us but will be quelled by evening.

Wednesday is cancelled due to lack of time.

On Thursday and Friday, we will be treated to a carnival! That’s always fun. Make sure to hide your children well in advance.

The Council will release relevant details about Saturday and Sunday soon, but they ask citizens to prepare for unexpected elections. They assure you that the cabins that no one knows about are well-prepared for your elected family members and they finally fixed the cable so that you get HBO most of the day. More on that soon.

It’s going to be dot day next week listeners and you know what that means! Stock up on all the dots you can before they run out.

**_And now here’s a traffic update._ **

Natasha, from the traffic committee and reported a rather bizarre development. Apparently, the road that leads to and from Night Vale, has disappeared. She reports that it was grumpy yesterday and downright contradictory this morning, following which it just vanished.

It hasn’t pulled a stunt like this in almost six months. She’d like to remind you that until this settles down, citizens should under no circumstances attempt to take that road. It’s dangerous and just irritates the road more, which we don’t really need.

Back to the opened Canyon. John Peters, you know, the farmer has reported that he’s seen glowing lights moving out of the canyon. He also swears that if you keep still, you can hear voices. He’d also swear up and down that the angels were meeting near the canyon except angels of course don’t exist. _Either way_ , he says, _something’s going on near that canyon and it’s affecting my imaginary oranges._

Did opening Radon Canyon really cause all these unexpected problems? Who knows listeners. Anything is possible here in Night Vale.

As I bid you all farewell to request for the proper forms for a date with an outsider, I hope that each one of you finds peace and happiness.

Good night listeners, good night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm in love with Cecil from WTNV. Or his voice at least.


End file.
